How to have the conversations no manager wants to have | Issue #3
This week's Leadership Bulletin looks at the best strategies for having difficult conversations with employees - and more.
Thank you to everyone who has got in touch following the first two bulletins. It’s great to have your feedback.
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Let’s begin issue 3.
WHAT I’M READING THIS WEEK.
This week, I’m dipping back into The Future Leader by Jacob Morgan. This book, the winner of CMI’s Management Book of the Year in 2021, summarises over 100 interviews and thousands of surveys with leaders across the world, all focused on a key question: what does the future of leadership look like?
If you’re interested in leadership trends, what other leaders think are the skills of the future, and how perceptions of leadership are likely to change, this book is well worth your time. You can get it from Amazon or Blackwell’s.
A REASON TO BE CHEERFUL.
This week is National Apprenticeships Week, a week-long celebration of vocational learning in the UK. We often think of apprenticeship training as something we just never quite get right in the UK - and it certainly isn’t perfect - but the good news is that over 320,000 people in England started an apprenticeship last year.
Each new apprenticeship is a commitment to skills development and new learning from both the employer and the apprentice. So that’s 320,000 reasons to be cheerful! You can read more about National Apprenticeships Week here.
ONE THING TO TRY THIS WEEK.
When asking for something from others, tell people how their support is helping you achieve your goals. A 2020 study showed that if supporters (i.e. donors to a charity or crowdfunding project) know that their support helps you hit a target or unlock matched funding, they are significantly more likely to give. It’s the impact of being the “tipping point.”
This study implies that telling people how their support helps you, especially if it will put you over the top or complete a project, makes people more likely to help. The idea could even be extended to compiling a report and telling someone - providing it is true - that theirs is the last contribution you need to complete it. So this week, if the opportunity arises, try telling people your goals when you ask for something and make it clear how their support can get you closer to it. [Source: Journal of the Association for Consumer Research]
IN FOCUS: HAVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS.
This week, I’m looking at one of the things nobody likes to do: have a difficult conversation. But like it or not, they are a fact of life for leaders and managers. So what’s the best way to go about it? Here's five tips for having better difficult conversations:
1. Speak sooner rather than later.
As a rule, the bigger the problem the more difficult the conversation. Seize the early moments to raise issues - like underperformance - before they get out of hand. Even if it doesn’t completely solve things, it will prepare them for conversations to come.
2. Plan.
Both parties can get flustered in a difficult conversation and things could get missed. So plan what you’re going to say, with notes if necessary. This helps make sure you have explained the issue thoroughly from your point of view.
3. Get down to it.
We often like to give feedback as a “sandwich” - positive, constructive, positive. This has its place, but in serious and difficult conversations it can be misleading for the employee. Often, the best thing to do is just set out your issues clearly.
4. Allow feedback.
It’s likely the employee is going to reply and share their perspective. That’s fine - allow it and take the time to make sure you fully understand their view before responding. Make sure you listen and respond in a way that is fair and objective.
5. Look to the future.
Except for in the worst case scenarios (e.g. gross misconduct) negative feedback isn't the end of the story. After dealing with the problems, pivot to focus on the future, such as how to avoid the difficult situation arising again and any support you can offer.
Not only will this keep things moving forward, it’s more productive than dwelling on the past and the right thing to do. Difficult conversations often need to happen, but our focus should usually be on addressing the cause and improving for the future.
These aren’t the only ways to handle difficult conversations and different situations will often require their own approach. But the above five tips will help you to make sure difficult conversations are conducted professionally.
IF YOU ONLY READ ONE THING THIS WEEK…
Make it this piece from People Management on how 38 per cent of working parents have said they hope to change job this year, even if they are satisfied with their current job. This seems to be part of a trend where people with caring responsibilities are re-assessing their work-life balance after the pandemic. With it proving difficult for many employers to attract the right staff, how can reports like this help you keep hold of the staff you have, especially those with caring responsibilities? Food for thought this week.
15 February 2022.